How To Take Control of Your life: How to take full control of your life! Let’s consider two things: 1) we have the freedom to make any choice we want, 2) we are intelligent thoughtfull beings. These two combined should mean that our minds are fantastically in control of our lives,
But in most cases, the opposite is true. Why? Is free will actually hurting us? Are we actually a bunch of immature grown ups who need to be controlled under supervision and require constant guidance? Where are we screwing ourselves up?
To figure that out, we need to look at the two elements behind our actions and choices,
Our choices are motivated by a mix of two influences – internal and external; internal influences could be mood, emotions, desires, urges;
external influences could be people, friends, lifestyle, environment, television, movies, music, etc.
Now in the middle, put the freedom to make any choice, and you will see very soon the internal influences combine with the external influences to form fantasies, fascination, likes, dislikes, most of which your brain is choosing without much thought, almost impulsively.
We are living in a world full of choices,
we have free will, and we like to waste our time in doing things that give us short term fulfillment; and we are changing ourselves, or working very hard toward a change in our personality that is born out of fascinations from external influences.
So the process you employ in learning is not exploring, but borrowing as much as you can – from movies, tv shows, internet – these are lifestyle choices, behavior choices, choices in demeanor, presentation, clothes, hair, from the way you speak to the choice of words you use.
Now borrowing language, knowledge, ideas to further improve the self is great, but it is a serious problem when your choices are based on people’s approval ratings, Most of the times, people are not even aware that their dreams, goals, and their entire personalities are borrowed. This is the reason why a lot of people remain dissatisfied and unsatisfied despite having everything,
because what they perceived to be their everything was told to them by someone, was fed to them by lifestyles, and later fuelled by envy and jealousy.
The truth is they’ve never even tried to find what real satisfaction mean to them, and have walked so far away from their original wants and pleasures that it seems impossibly hard to find it again.
Here’s another narrative which is equally harmful, that money doesn’t give you happiness, that all rich and famous people are secretly depressed and miserable, what kind of mind soothing nonsense is that?
Your satisfaction could very possibly be in becoming a millionaire, or it could be something entirely different too.
But here’s the difference, having money is most definitely more beneficial than not having it, because with money, you can hire help to find out what your personal meaning of satisfaction is. So what are the few ways in which you can take hold of your life!
Categories your wants by adding a why at the beginning of everything you do in a day.
For example, why do I like doing this? This could be anything, the point is, you are questioning your actions for the first time, and assigning them Categories based on the answer you get. So for example, the question is, why do I spend so much time with friends? Watching YouTube? Instagram? All three questions will have different answers,
but if you simply consider the three terms: friends, youtube, Instagram, you might Categories them as fun, leisure, time pass,
which is what you have been doing all this while, and it isn’t working. When you ask why? You start an investigation, so in case of Instagram, you will consider the content you watch, and that will fit in a different category;
Secondly, it also tells you something about yourself, By asking this question in everything, you will gradually learn who you are at the core. And then based on your learnings, experiences, you can change yourself into someone better.
To change yourself, it is essential to know what you have to change in you!
Asking yourself the three questions at any time of the day to become ultra conscious.
Self awareness.The majority of our days are lived in repetition of yesterdays, you know why? Because the pattern in which you perform the daily activities is set in your brain, you are not doing anything new,
First, because you are not challenging your brain to come up with something new,
Secondly, you have become a slave of the comfort zone that pattern provides you. And you never told this to yourself, but you’re so much in love with the comfort that you start treating hard work as distraction.
I am sure you have felt this feeling when you are working very hard, and you can’t wait to go back to your comfort zone and indulge in the same daily activities, you can’t wait to check your Instagram, go on YouTube, hang out with your friends, stalk girls, chat with random girls, and when you finally do these things, you are filled with relief, you feel as if you’re finally home doing the thing that makes perfect sense. And that hard work was some alien unwanted activity you had to do. Technically, it should be the other way round.
You know what this gives birth to? Self hatred, because when you see your dreams having been achieved by someone else, when you see the sight of what you want to own in life, to possess, and you haven’t, it fills you with self loathing.
And in that moment, it doesn’t even occur to you to blame comfort zone, those youtubers, models, friends, girls, no, you know that you bought them into your life, so the only option is self hating. This can be overcome by repetition of a simple exercise.
At anytime in your day, wherever you may find yourself, either sitting with your friends, playing games, on YouTube, in your phone doing god-knows what, just ask yourself, what am I doing right now? Am I free to do this? Is there anything else that will be a better Utilization of this time? These three questions are the very definition of being self aware in the moment.
Since most of our daily actions are simply following a pattern, the need to question yourself doesn’t exist, because your brain thinks you are doing exactly what you enjoy doing, and what you do daily.
When you, in your conscious state, are still following a pattern laid out in your subconscious, you need to reach a higher level of consciousness to break through. Because eventually it will happen, when you touch failure, and blame seeps in, then you would be able to see clearly how you were wasting every single day and on what, so why don’t you see it right now, reverse it and change the outcome?
Evaluate who is bringing what into your life, and on that basis, protect your mind from distractions.
Audit your company. You are a corporation, you have a product that is your mind, you’ve got investors – parents, loans, self raised capital, you have hired experts – teachers, professors, so on and so forth, and at the end, your company’s worth is evaluated based on the quality of your product – your mind. So to maintain the highest quality, you need to defend your product from agents of deterioration: people.
Have you ever evaluated the effect caused by people you are inviting in your life * namely your friends? Friends are great, I wouldn’t argue there, but what are they bringing into your life, and I am not talking about value, if they are bringing any value or not, no!
I am talking about content, what do they talk about? What are their interests that they share with you? What are the activities they enjoy of which now you are a part too? What is the nature of the content they have bought into your life?
Because if you are not your mind is, constantly, registering it, evaluating it, possessing it, which is why, in no time, you will find yourself petty interested in their affairs as well! If you hear somebody talk for a while, you will become interested in their story, it doesn’t happen automatically;
it happens because you allowed it to happen by putting no filters or aleart in your mind, if you don’t wanna be interested. One has to be a world-class storyteller to even get your attention. So let me tell you some truths about your life – more than half of the affairs that take your time away aren’t even yours, They are somebody else’s, could be a girl you like, some friend, a bunch of friends, these are just stories that you are a fan of. And you have become so involved that you think about them even when you are not with them. Stop Being an audience in somebody’s bullshit.
Do you know who has bullshit to share? Everybody. It’s endless and repetitive. You’re simply living in the illusion that because these are my friends, and such are their problems, they become important to me. It’s the same crap with everybody.
If you want your life in your control, you will have to control the flow of information – in and out;
Stop the corruption of your brain, stop getting stuck in emotional matters by association, you need to limit the people in your life. That could mean distancing yourself, cutting down on their freedom to enter on your life with their crap whenever they want to, selecting a few like – minded individuals over a bunch of names who walk in and out whenever they want to. You have to be in charge, not they.
Protect your mind, it’s much better to have nothing than to have somebody’s else’s bullshit running through your mind all day serving you distraction.
Evaluate the value of the daily activities you perform in terms of their consequence, and not by changing in mood.
Start considering the consequences. The reason why we continue making the same mistakes, same decisions, same choices everyday is, because we consider the feelings we get from them – that’s how we judge our actions. If we feel good, it’s a great activity. Masturbation, porn, movies, Facebook, Instagram, comedy videos, reaction videos, gaming, hanging out – all this things that are essentially very very harmful to your growth if not monitored, are great to you.
And despite knowing that they are ruining your life, you continue doing them because you wanna feel great. Instead of accessing these activities based on your mood, ask yourself how did they affect your day. And even more so your life.
Stop being so self important that you need to be happy at all times or something about the day is not right. You will be a sad person forever, because you are knowingly screwing the very dream you have, and no matter how hard you try in the future to compensate by doing yoga and watching videos on spirituality, the regret will stay because it is real; you had a chance and you blew it away, blew it on feelings you get from Facebook and snapchat.
So get real with yourself. Consequences of your actions, Even the tiniest ones, are real.
Instead of encouraging poisonous habits that give you momentary joy, empower the right behavior, and that will give birth to self respect.
Stay clear from anything associated with the most confusing word in the dictionary: cool.
The meaning of cool becomes what any person may choose it to be: to someone climbing a rock could be cool, to another, reading a book is cool and climbing rocks is unnecessary danger, and the same person who likes to climb rocks might find reading books as uncool,
anything that changes its definition in accordance with the perception of the viewer, is highly untrustworthy, because it is rooted in somebody’s personal relation with a thing, To some people, drugs are cool. To some, you are cool if you hate the same people as they do, support the same party, believe in the same God, support the same cause, or hate the same cause, if you hear somebody explain to you something, and their faith in that thing stems from its coolness, shake their hand and walk right out.
A great amount of stupidity in this world stems from the word coolness. Here’s a much better word: sensible. I will do what makes sense to me. Sensibility is a much better companion than coolness.
So let’s recap: five points
- categories your wants by adding a why at the beginning of everything you do in a day.
- asking yourself the three questions at any time of the day to become ultra conscious.
- evaluate who is bringing what into your life, and on that basis, protect your mind from distractions.
- evaluate the value of the daily activities you perform in terms of their consequence, and not by changing in mood.
- sensibility, not cool.
I hope this article helped you, but it will really help if you start applying these practices. and I want you to become the best of people, so take charge of yourself, become the master.
